Frequently Asked Questions

Below are some answers to questions that we are frequently asked from people who are in relationships or who are looking for advice on how to approach their future relationships.  Our answers are based on scripture and God-given wisdom we have gained from our own relationship and the relationships of other people we know.

1. Is kissing while dating a sin?

 As Christians, our goal should not be to see how close we can get to sin without actually sinning. Just as marijuana is the gateway to more hardcore drugs, kissing is the gateway to sexual sin. 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee sexual immorality. This means to run in the opposite direction of sexual sin, not to flirt with it.  Although kissing is not a sin, we don’t suggest it because in alot of cases it leads to sin.

2.       Is it ok to date a non-believer?

The bible makes it very clear that we are to not be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers.”(2 Cor 6:14)  When it comes to dating, it is unwise to get emotionally involved and/or attached with someone who does not have the same commitment level to Christ as you do, or does not have a desire for growth as you do.  While it might take some time to determine if someone you meet is spiritually compatible with you or not, we suggest that you hang out with them in groups or get to know them in ways where it minimizes the emotional investment (in case it does not work). 

3.       How long should you date before you get engaged?

The bible does not specify a time period on how long you should date before you get engaged.  However, in Malachi 2:16 the bible does speak to the fact that God hates divorce.  Also, in 1 Corinthians 7:9, the bible speaks to the fact that those who cannot abstain from sex before marriage are better off marrying than sinning (or burning with passion).  These two scriptures show us that it is important to date long enough to know the person inside and out in order to prevent divorce; however, you should not date too long as you may be tempted to sin sexually.  We usually suggest that couples date at least a year, and no more than 3 years.

4.       What are some examples of appropriate boundaries in dating relationships?

When considering appropriate boundaries, we suggest that individuals consider 3 questions to govern their interactions: am I treating this person like a brother or sister in Christ, am I running in the opposite direction of sin and am I being wise in keeping sinful opportunities from arising.  We all know our own weaknesses, and we should take the time to get to know God’s expectations.  As such, we suggest that each person set his or her own boundaries BEFORE actually dating anyone.  Some boundaries include a curfew, limited physical contact and no ‘sleepovers’.

5.       What are some examples of appropriate Christian dates?

If a couple is in the beginning stages of dating exclusively or are just getting to know one another, group-type activities are the best bet.  For purity’s sake, we suggest that you spend as little time alone (without adult accountability) in one another’s house/apartment as possible.

Good examples of dates:  Dinner, movies at the theater, art festivals, whitewater rafting, sporting events, social events at/sponsored by a church, jazz concert, games night, cookout, day at the zoo, rock climbing, amusement parks.

6.       Are online and long distance dating ok?

Meeting a person to date online as a Christian is ok.  The important thing with online and long distance dating, as well as traditional dating, is that you get to know the person as well as possible.  This is extremely difficult  to do online or on the phone.  To really get to know someone it has to be done in person and over time.

7.       How do you show affection without physical contact?

1 John 4:8 declares that God is love.  So how do we know that God is love, and loves us?  Does he hug us, or kiss us or hold our hands to show us?  No.  We know that God loves us through his word (the bible) and his actions (seeing how he moves in our lives).  Therefore, some good ways to show affection without physical contact are through affirming words and kind gestures.  Even after you marry, you will have to continue to show this type of affection.

8.       Is it okay to date someone who:

a.       Is sexually active

The bible says that “bad company corrupts good character.”  No matter how strong you are in your walk, you can still be influenced by those closest to you.  If that person is struggling with fornication, you should not date them.  You may think that you are the Godly influence that they need to turn their lives around, but that person truly needs a same sex accountability partner to help them through their struggle.  If later on this person sincerely turns from fornication and commits to waiting for marriage, you can re-evaluate the situation.

b.      Is not active in his or her church

Lack of involvement in a local church speaks of a lack of spiritual maturity.  God has given us gifts and talents that we should be using to build his Kingdom and to edify the body(1 Cor. 12:4-11).  If the desire is there, but travel, illness, sabbatical, etc prevents it for a season, that is okay.  Or, if the person is serving in a ministry outside of the church that utilizes their gifts and builds the Kingdom, that is fine too.  If the indiviual does not see the importance nor has a desire, check to see if you two are truly "equally yoked." 

c.       Attends church sporadically

The bible instructs us to “not forsake the assembling together” (Heb. 10:25) which simply means that we should be actively trying to regularly fellowship and worship with other believers.  Setting aside time each week to worship and fellowship through a church service is one way that we show God that he is a priority for us.  On a spiritual level, when God’s people come together on one accord powerful things happen.  On a practical level, accountability, encouragement and growth are readily available to those who regularly attend.  

d.      Is of a different race

Dating someone of another race is perfectly fine.  God is not a respecter of race and is more concerned about a person’s commitment level to Him than he is with the color of their skin.  There might be some cultural differences that challenge the relationship, but as long as the two people are “equally yoked” spiritually it is okay.

e.      Is of a different denomination

If a person is a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ and attends a bible believing church where the un-compromised truth is taught, denominations than become a matter of personal preference.  There may be rituals or practices within a denomination that you disagree with that might ultimately end your desire to date that person.

f.     Is not a tither

Since the purpose of dating is to find someone to marry, it is ill-advised for a Christian to date a non-tither.  It speaks to the fact that you all might not be equally yoked because giving is directly tied to spiritual maturity.   The bible says that to not tithe is to rob God (Mal. 3:8).  If you marry someone who doesn’t tithe you are denying yourself the fullness of God’s promises to tithers (Mal. 3:10).

9.       Is group dating required as a Christian?

Group dating is not required as a Christian.  However, group dating provides great opportunities to get to know other people in a natural environment.  With one on one dating, or any other kind of couple dating, people are usually making a very conscious effort to put their best foot forward.  As such, you may not be able to see the true person.  Group outings generally remove these walls.

    10.     Why is 180 Dating relevant to Christians today?

• 180 Dating talks about real and relevant issues that people want to talk about
• Dating according to biblical principles and with the intent to marry is very rewarding
• Many Christians do not have role models to demonstrate healthy dating or marriage relationships
• Many Christians want to know how to apply biblical principles to their dating relationships
• Many Christians are searching for answers as to why they continually end up in emotional, physical, and sexually abusive relationships
• It helps Christians focus on the “right” things during their dating process and to help them make wise decisions in the selection process
  Society inundates us with philosophies that lead to emotionally and physically broken relationships
• The bible has some awesome insight into dating & relationships
• 180 Dating articles deal with current issues, events and trends in today’s society

  If you have a question that you do not see addressed on this page, email us at info@180dating.com.